The other day I was watching a Marathi language movie called ‘Tula Kalnaar Nahi” . The story begins with a couple determined to end the relationship. While everyone knows that arguments are a common part of marriage, what fascinated me was the spite with which both the husband and wife tried to make life miserable for each other. It got me thinking….
Many modern day urban marriages are crumbling on a global scale because of several reasons and one of them is certainly an inability to walk away from arguments. The ego plays such a huge part. I’ve met couples who insult each other in public and take some kind of perverse pleasure in seeing their life partner embarrassed. They insist that divorce isn’t an option because of x,y, z reasons. Fair enough. But is the alternative spending all one’s energy figuring out how to insult and demean each other???
They don’t want ‘counselling’ because apparently counselling is for the ‘weak’. Why is there still a stigma attached to asking for external help. I couldn’t believe it when a lady told me about the problems she’s facing in her marriage but when I suggested she speak to a professional (since no amount of in-law and parent intervention had helped), she looked horrified and said ‘What would people say if they found out they had been seeing a counsellor?”
Please!!!!! Let’s move away from these fears of society and what society will say. As soon as people have even a simple headache, they make sure they take medication on time. But when something as big as a marriage is at stake, they shy away from asking for help. Why???
If the marriage is worth saving (and many are), the means justify the end. There is nothing weak about asking for help. On the contrary, it takes immense inner courage to do so.
So, let’s question what modern day society labels a ‘stigma’ and let’s take ownership for our own lives.