Why did you 'Unfriend' me?

"Hey, why did you unfriend me?"

I was at a social gathering a few months ago and my ears perked up on hearing this.

Two women smiled artificially at each other.

"Do you really want to know or shall I just give a polite answer?' the other lady asked.

'I really want to know'.

'Well, I don't particularly like the language you use on social media and I find your views a bit extreme and lacking empathy.'


The woman who had asked the question looked devastated and an argument began.

Online rejection isn't easy on the ego. And there will naturally be hurt feelings.

Here are some tips:

1) Do you really need to ask why someone unfriended you? I mean, if it's a close friend, then certainly you need to find out. But if it's just someone whom you barely know, let it pass.

2) People have different reasons for 'unfriending' and it could be something as innocent as the two of you having nothing in common. Maybe they accepted your friend request or sent you one on impulse and later changed their mind. They don't need to be interrogated about their decision.

3) If being unfriended bothers you deeply, always a good idea to reflect on your own social media behaviour. Is there anything you can improve on or tweak slightly or change? Are you sounding too negative in all your posts? Do you start arguments for the smallest reasons? Do you read everything but never like or comment?

4) Life's too short to sweat the small stuff. Being unfriended isn't the end of the world. Neither does it mean you're a bad person.

Remember, your thoughts affect your feelings, your feeling affect your behaviour and your behaviour shapes your life. Choose worthy thoughts...for that will make all the difference.

Nim Gholkar, 2020